Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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