yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am one with the molecules
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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