my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i've created a new STD.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
