Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize