Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
