Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
