I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize