I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
