Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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