Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
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Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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