why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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