I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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