Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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