You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
