he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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