I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
