my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Do vagina's smell?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
