No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
