I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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