they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize