So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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