we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
