we have pet lesbian snakes
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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