from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize