he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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