the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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