I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it glows. i had to have it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
