There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize