Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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