Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
