His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
