Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
