Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
