This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
