Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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