I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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