matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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