first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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