Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
