they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
