I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
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He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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