There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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