i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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