i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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