No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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