I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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