around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I need moral support for this bender
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
