I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize