planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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