kristin has been a bad kristin
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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