perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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