my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
