Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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