please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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