She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
