Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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