Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.