Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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