Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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